sinnamon's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- scary mother fucking hobos Oh my lordy! Guess what happened to us? Us being Shannon, Lea (my roommate) and myself of course. We had planned on going booty dancing tonite with a bunch of guys, but at the last minute they all pulled out. So the three of us went anyway, mainly because WE DON'T NEED NO MAN YO! But, we really do. When we walked in the fucking door, some fucking homeless dude was here, he was obviously drunker than your mom after working the corner on christmas. He immediately zoned in on us, especially on Shannon (must be her big tits). He followed us across the dance floor, no one was dancing yet, then dragged Shannon on the dance floor. Lea and I followed because we felt she needed moral support. The whole time he was flapping his jaw, but what the fuck he said I don't know. English must have been his second language when he was drunk, because slurred gibberish is definitely his native tongue. After awhile this guy, Erik, who was very hot I must say, started dancing with me, I will talk more about him later....but let me say this now, ROWR. Anyway after about a half hour we got pretty tired and sat down to get away from weird-drunk-hobo who we didn't know was horny then, but we were about to find out. We got back up to dance we took extra care to avoid his hobo ass. Then about 3 hours later, as the club was closing, he somehow caught up with us and by now he had regained some, but not many English skills. We could actually understand a word or two. I was with Erik, but the hobo was stalking Lea and Shannon. First, he made them hug, they thought he was being just funny, but it turned him on. Grody. Then he asked Lea, as we were in line for our coats, if she would like to have sex with him and Shannon. As if Shannon had already agreed to this procedure. Lea says, with a calm, yet irritated smile, "I'm sorry but I don't want to have sex you and Shannon." Poor Shannon :/ Lea still thinks he is joking. Keep in mind that this dude is way piss ass drunk, he about to puke on us. Anyway, we go outside and he approaches me and asks me where my boyfriend (Erik) is. I made the stupid ass mistake of saying "That's not my boyfriend, that's just some guy" WRONG WRONG WRONG, BAD ANSWER! So now he has this weird idea that I am the leader of the trio. That I am the most experienced/adult one of the group. And I am older, but its only by a year. And I don't look older, but I guess because I was making out with Erik and I told him he wasn't my bf, he figured I was a ho. And I am ho, but I am selective ho damnit. Anyway, he tells me to convince Shannon and Lea that he is "all good." So I say "So did you hear that?" They are laughing hysterically. I tell the guy calmly that I don't think he can convince them to have a threesome with him. And we begin to walk away. And here the story begins, at the corner, CAN I JUST BITCH ABOUT THE MOTHER SNOW? IF IT WASN'T FOR THE SLIPPERY MOFO SNOW, WE COULDA RAN. BUT SINCE WE LIKE OUR ASSES IN ONE PIECE, WE COULD NOT RUN. Ok, sorry. So at the corner, he stops us again and says "You know I been thinking about what I said" he repeats this like 8 times. I am like "okie what are you thinking?" Then he says he wants all three of us to do him. He says we are "easy" !!!! But I was like "we aren't easy" and he was "no no no I didn't mean it like that" but it came out more like "EFWQTFGAWGERSYHRTSDUYHTDJIUYKMY." So I am not really sure what he meant by "easy." Meanwhile he is fiddling with his zipper. Lea pipes up with "we would be easy if we did that with you." Shannon is terrifed now, but Lea and I aren't really afraid yet, we are still laughing. Shannon says "let's go" and the hobo says "ohh she's scared" and we laugh then he says "but I know her panties are all wet." !!!! Now Lea and I are scared, we start walking away briskly to the P2P stop. For those of you who don't know, the P2P is UNC's free transportation system for STUDENTS, so that we don't drive drunk or GET RAPED IN THE MIDDLE OF NIGHT BY HOBOS. It works really well, no seriously, the P2P rules, its so mother fucking safe. Shannon and Lea can walk better than me because my feet are killing me, so I was basically eating their dust, well my best hobo friend, kept talking to me trying to get me to have sex with him. I am really scared. He asks us where we live. And of course, cool and calm me, quickly tells him "We live in Craige." Craige is the dorm way the mother fuck away from our dorm, it's on the opposite side of campus and a really far walk from where we were. So we are at the P2P stop, waiting, he still standing there, but not talking to us, so we figure he is just gonna leave us alone. WRONG AGAIN. We get on the P2P, and he gets on behind Lea. LET'S REPEAT, THE P2P IS FOR STUDENT USE ONLY. HIM BEING A HOBO WOULD NOT A BE A STUDENT, THE MOTHER FUCKING DRIVER HAS TO BE THE BIGGEST JACKASS ON THIS SIDE ON THE HEMISPHERE. This guy was obviously NOT a student. I hate the P2P driver, die you bastard. He doesn't sit near us though, but he watches us. Meanwhile, we try to figure out what we are going to do. Because from where the P2P picked us up, its only one stop to Granville, our REAL dorm. And we can't just ride the P2P all night, it stops running at 3, and it was 2:30. So Lea has the idea to go back to Granville and tell the front desk. Good idea Lea :) So we got off the P2P and he gets off too. I tell Lea to run ahead and tell the front desk, she glances back once and he is right behind us. She runs faster for the door, looks back again, and he is gone. Ducked behind a car or something. We are terrified, somehow we make into the building, and he can't get in without a card, although Granville's door security is extremely relaxed, people let other people in all the time. So we told the front desk what happened and they called security. Now we all need a stiff drink. The moral of this story is, always take a guy with you to a club in case some psycho drunken hobo wants to fuck you with two of your friends. I can't believe that happened. It's so weird.... Nevertheless, I had a great night. I love booty dancing!
Thanks to Lea & Shannon for helping me with this very special hobo entry :) 03:04 AM - 012900 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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