sinnamon's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the ex-factor So almost four years ago I started writing in an online journal. I needed some kind of space to explain to myself and to anyone else what exactly was going through my head. My first online diary entry was on June 27th, 1999. It wasn�t here of course, that was pre-diaryland I think. It was hidden inside my geocities webpage. Man it was a long time ago. I was 19. The journal was all about one person really. I guess in some ways you think of your past relationships in terms of size, there are the BIG relationships, and the small ones. Of course many of the small ones seem like big ones, especially when you are trying to get over them. So my first journal started out as dealing with that BIG relationship. Four years ago. Seems like an entire lifetime. Two years of one person for every single moment and then it�s over. It really was an addiction, I really did go through withdrawal and writing about it did help. But even today, the other end of the BIG relationship can still say things that get to me. Yes I have a great relationship now that is going on three years. I am engaged to the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I don�t think being affected by the ex-factor says anything bad about my current relationship. It just says that even things you forget about, whether on purpose or not, even if you move on, just a little flashback or conversation with a blast from the past can stab. I can�t believe Bill actually let his ex stay with us for a few days. I think that would have drove me insane. 3:45 AM - 062503 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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