sinnamon's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i am a cheater! I�ve been unfaithful, I have to confess. You see, I�ve been cheating on my diary. And writing in a paper journal lately. I know the shame, the horror, the betrayal. All I can say is that the black book wooed me from the library as I was cleaning. I came across Bill�s old diaries. One going back to 1978 (no didn�t read them but did see the date!) and I suddenly realized that I wanted that. I wanted my life all documented on paper. I found an empty journal next to his archives and I just did it. I just fell into the books spell. Virtual paper is nice, but it seems less intimate. And of course, there�s the self-inflicted censorship. I�ve got no excuses for that other than sometimes you just have to think about someone other than yourself. But in a paper diary, I don�t have to do that. I can think about only myself without serious consequences for saying things like �so-in-so is a dumb ugly whore� but not really meaning it, just being angry in the moment. What so-in-so doesn�t know, won�t hurt so-in-so�s dumb ugly whore ass. Anyway, I am hoping that the paper journal will last but like many love affairs, it could peter out as time passes. Maybe I will incorporate some of the things I�ve written there, in here. I�ve been cranky lately but I blame, um, I blame you. You who is reading this right now. That�s who I blame. Fuck you for making me cranky. 11:11 PM - 102303 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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